What is it with celebrities? While the rest of us agonise over whether we should spell Catherine with a C or a K, the stars are pulling random letters out of a hat to create Makena’lei or Destry.
Maybe it’s that celebrities are operating on a higher creative plane to the rest of us. Maybe they’re on crack. Or maybe, like Penn Jillette, father of Moxie CrimeFighter and Zolten Penn they only have their child’s best interests at heart:
“I think it’s pretty cruel to give a kid a name that others are going to have. I think it’s very important to have a unique name within any group you’re likely to be in. It’s more friendly to go to school being the only “Penn” then to have to be called by your full name, “Mike Jones” or whatever. I always felt sorry for the Mikes and Bobs.”
That may be Penn, but try to spell out Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily to the school principal.
So here it is. The absolutely definitive, up-to-date list of shocking celebrity baby names.
- Alcamy: Lance Henriksen and Mary Jane Henriksen
- Apple: Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow
- Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon
- Banjo Patrick: Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor
- Beckett: Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher
- Bogart Che Peyote: Reality star David “Puck” Rainey and Betty Rainey
- Blue Angel: U2’s The Edge and Aislinn O’Sullivan
- Bluebell Madonna: Geri Halliwell
- Calico: Alice and Sheryl Cooper (also parents to Sonora Rose)
- Camera: Arthur Ashe and Jeanne Moutoussamy
- Destry: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw
- Diezel Ky: Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis (also parents to Denim Cole)
- Ever Gabo: Milla Jovovich and Paul W.S. Anderson
- Everly Bear: Anthony Kiedis, 44, and his model girlfriend, Heather Christie
- Fifi Trixibell: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (also parents to Peaches and Pixie)
- Free: Barbara Hershey and David Carradine
- Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty
- Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily: Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence
- Homer James Jigme: Richard Gere and Carey Lowell
- Hud: John Cougar Mellancamp and Elaine Irwin. Brother to Spec Wildhorse.
- Jermajesty: Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza
- Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)
- Kyd: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
- Lark Song: Mia Farrow and André Previn
- Makena’lei Gordon: Helen Hunt and Matthew Carnahan
- Marquise: 50 Cent
- Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin
- Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)
- Peaches Honeyblossom: Paula Yates and Bob Geldof
- Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
- Pirate: Korn frontman John Alexander and porn-star wife Devon
- Prince Michael II/Blanket: Micheal Jackson
- Princess Tiaamii: Katie Price and Peter Andre
- Ptolemy John: Gretchen Mol and Tod ‘Kip’ Williams
- Puma: Erykah Badu and Tracy Curry
- Reignbeau: Actor Ving Rhames and Deborah Reed (sister to brother Freedom)
- Rocket: Robert Rodriguez (also father to Racer, Rebel and Rogue)
- Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)
- Sailor Lee: Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook
- Satchel: Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee
- Seven Sirius: Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu
- Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
- Story Elias: Jenna Elfman and her husband Bodhi
- Tu Morrow: Rob Morrow
- Zuma Nesta Rock: Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale
Did we miss any? Let us know below.
‘Homer James Jigme’
I am pretty sure the Homer is because it was/is Richard Gere’s father’s name. And Jigme is to do with Tibetan buddhism – there is a lama Jigme Rinpoche.
There are some real shockers. Ptolemy? Deary me.
Pirate and Pilot…they could be friends.
I like the name Tiger Lily, she’s quite beautiful that child. I think they call her Tiger for short. I’d hate to be making wills and legal documents for her. How annoying. I hope a lot of these kids change their names when they’re older by deed poll.
In our local paper this week (here in Frankston, Melbourne) in the baby section where they show the new born babies for the week, one couple has named their new born baby:
Ocean Breeze Goodnight
I kid you not!
Poor Freedom. Didn’t his parents care enough to spell his name creatively? Even if they couldn’t be bothered they could have pulled their fingers out and chucked in an apostrophe. At least Freed’m could hold his head up a little when out with Reignbeau.