They Say: Condoleeza Rice Too Gay To Be VP?

An unnamed source told Ian Undercover, Ian undercover told PageOneQ, PageOneQ told Mombian and I'm telling you.

Shhh, come closer…

It seems John McCain wanted Condaleeza Rice for his veep, but Condi is too gay for the job.   To be perfectly honest, I knew that already.  Every lesbian who's lived in DC has heard about her girlfriend hanging out in certain sapphic social venues and making no bones about their relationship.  So when I read the latest gossip I thought "ah-ha!  That's what happened!"  Because really, Sarah Palin?  I mean, Sarah Palin??  Really, seriously, Sarah Palin???

Much as McCain wanted Condi — apparently to steal just a smidgeon of the Black vote and/or the woman vote from Obama — the republican puppet masters wouldn't have it, what with Rice's not-so-secret history of co-ownership of large assets with one Randy Bean who, in spite of her misleading name, has a uterus.

The question remains, how did the decision to replace Rice with Palin come about?  Wouldn't you like to have been a fly on that wall?

Brilliant PhD with a specialty in the former Soviet Union?"

"No."

"Years of foreign policy experience including much public and international defense of the Bush Doctrine?"

"No."

"African-American?"

"No."

"Female?"

"Yes."

"Homosexual?"

"Certainly not."

"Sold!  The American people will barely notice the difference, I'm sure."

I guess if Rice really wanted to be VP when she grew up she ought to have married a womanising southern governor like other sisters the grapevine whispers about…