A Primer for the Undecided (Gratuitious David Sedaris Post)

Essayist and funny guy David Sedaris is baffled by those who still — STILL! — identify themselves as "undecided" voters in the US election. What's left to mull over?

Sedaris cuts through the crap, so to speak, and lays out, in metaphor, the two options for these undecideds (and, really, all American voters this election).

From the New Yorker:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and,
eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits
of broken glass
in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

But he's no starry-eyed optimist and expects neither candidate to work miracles once in office. However, one of the options may be less painful than the other. 

I wonder if, in the end, the undecideds aren’t the biggest
pessimists of all. Here they could order the airline chicken, but, then
again, hmm. “Isn’t that adding an extra step?” they ask themselves. “If
it’s all going to be chewed up and swallowed, why not cut to the chase,
and go with the platter of shit?”

Ah, though, that’s where the broken glass comes in.