Now that we all live in an open, multi-cultural modern society it is difficult to find something that will get you openly branded a freak. Being a vegan comes close, but even that is almost accepted (to my face) by people I meet. But there is one taboo that gets people shocked and horrified:
Admitting to not partaking in Christmas.
And if you have a child and admit to this, be prepared to be called cruel, freaky and downright wrong.
Of course, more enlightened members of society will assume you are Jewish, or Muslim, or have some other religious excuse for not getting down with the whole Christmas thing. But even they will start to wonder what is wrong with you when you admit no, there are no religious sanctions.
So, why don’t we ‘do’ Christmas then?
It is something that evolved in our little family. A large part of the reason is we were just sick of it — sick of the crass commercialism. Sick of the stress families induced in the oh-so-terribly important decisions like whose turn it was to be hosting grandparents this year. Sick of being expected to partake in some large ritual that means nothing to us because, well, it’s what you do, it’s what everyone does, so you have to, right? I mean, how can you not ‘do’ Christmas?
It also didn’t make sense to us. We are not religious. We see the grandparents and other family members when time permits. We buy our son gifts on a semi-regular basis (though not as regular as he would probably like). Other than Carols in the Domain and making sure Christmas trees start popping up in shopping malls earlier and earlier each year, Australia doesn’t have many Christmas traditions. Frankly, there was no reason for us to celebrate Christmas. We felt going along with the whole thing just meant we were sheep, rather than a family celebrating a meaningful event.
So far, it has been relatively easy. Our son is still young enough that he can get excited by seeing lurid Christmas trees in a shopping centre but not expect us to have one at home. Being a vegan, he is used to not being exactly the same as the other kids at preschool (and luckily he goes to a preschool with a range of nationalities and family traditions anyway) so doesn’t yet expect to conform to what society thinks everyone should be doing on the 25th of December.
Last Christmas day we took a long extended bike ride around our city. This year I am hoping we will be on an airplane winging our way to our new home in another hemisphere. He hasn’t yet noticed that most other people feel the need to be doing Christmas on this day.
Of course, some people get a bit weird about our choice. I have no problem with other people celebrating Christmas if that is what they want to do — I know many families that love Christmas, it means something to them and they look forward to it. Great, all power to them. Yet many people feel the need to belittle the fact we don’t really get into the Christmas ‘vibe’. Or tell us we are being cruel, denying our child and/or setting him up for a life of bullying by not letting him experience what other kids get to do. And yes, there is one grandparent who makes a big deal about the fact that Christmas presents will still be sent for the boy, we can’t deny him that and then won’t accept our assurances that yes, of course, presents are presents, we accept them with thanks, we are not about to deny the kid gifts.
It is interesting how our choice, which we took to be something about us, for so many people becomes something about them. You want to do Christmas this year? Great, I hope you have a good time. Merry Christmas and all that, just respect my choice.
Of course, this could all be a moot point soon anyway. We are moving to the Northern Hemisphere, to a country that not only has some lovely Christmas traditions I am ready to embrace, but is also within close travelling distance of some fantastic Christmas markets. So yes, we probably won’t be a Christmas-free household for much longer. But until then I want to choose for myself how my family spend December 25, not just do stuff because, well, you just do, don’t you?
I couldn’t agree with you more. If only I could get my family to go along!
Oh Natalia, how envious I am that you have escaped the shackles of the christmas season. My huge family all go potty for christmas – I try enrolling them in my scroogeness ever year to no avail. Off to buy xmas presents I go, ho hum, ho hum…
All the more power to you.
Three cheers to less commercialisation of christmas.
We need more people like you in the world. People who actually think about why they are doing things.
I don’t do Christmas as such. No tree or decorations. One year I had a vegimite sandwhich as I headed of to do another shift for work. My children don’t rally like the idea but the grandkids still get their gift voucher. It’s easier than trying to remember 15 birthdates.
I don’t miss it at all. It is too commercialise.
I don’t think you should have to celebrate Christmas but I don’t think it is evil either. You seem to act like it is a society and conformist thing too much and not sit and think about the fun you have on that day with your family and especially your kid. I don’t do it because everyone is doing it I do it because my kids enjoy it. Also my wife is Muslim and her parents still held christmas even though they were Muslim just because there kids enjoyed it. Not everything is about the grown ups in life. We shouldn’t enjoy Christmas your right because were the ones that have to set everything up by the presents and such. But I think we should let our kids have the few special days they are excited about every year. You don’t denounce his birthday do you? I know there is a difference there but in a way they are similar as well. But either way I do understand that some people don’t care for it and don’t celebrate it my point was I do it because my kids enjoy it and maybe some of you should think about what your kids would enjoy first instead of what you do not feel like doing. Also shouldn’t you let your child grow up a little and make the decision about being a veagan on his own instead of forcing it on him when he is in kindergarden and could use a little protien. I guess I pushed the line there thats none of my business just worry about kids health that might suffer because of parents decisions.
I am a vegan and the traditional Christmas turkey or pig meat is a big NO NO! It’s not the easiest time of the year outside the direct family, so we mostly stay home with a nutmeat and vegetable satay bbq. Christmas is too commercial and as a Christian it is offensive about how far it has gone from the original meaning of Jesus’ birth. So as a Christian vegan, we don’t DO Christmas in the traditional sense either!
I don’t understand why you think being in Australia all of sudden means that there are no Christmas traditions to uphold and that Christmas is not relevant on the sourthern hemisphere. Sure we celebrate being in the sunshine rather than snowy scenes but that doesn;t mean the Aussie traditons my family (from european hertiage) has adapted and created are any less special to me and my family in Oz than someone sitting in London. I kinda find it hipicritical of you to be all “Christmas isnt right for my family” but that is all tied up with the location you celebrate it in not your actual beliefs at all.