Should Out-of-Work Parents Get Off Child Support Hook?
Posted by JeanneSager at 2:25 PM on January 9, 2009
I kind of felt bad for the Dad who wrote to the Houston Chronicle law advice columnist, asking if he could get a break on his child support payments while he’s out of work. Um, NOT!
Yeah, yeah, we know about the economy. But while I understand it’s tough to pay your bills when you’re out of a job, cutting expenses doesn’t mean cutting out the kids.
Says the columnist, “Maybe. You can hire a lawyer and seek court approval for a modification of your court-ordered child support payments.”
He’s quick to advise against it, pushing for mediation with the ex-wife and warning that by the time the motion makes it through court, the dad could already be back in an office. If the ex can agree, if she can financially hold down the fort for awhile, if you can agree to make restitution later, that’s one thing.
I’m appalled that a dad who insists he’s “not a deadbeat,” still doesn’t understand that the responsibility of child support isn’t about how much money you make. It’s about supporting your child. Child support payments be set too high (yes, courts are imperfect, some lawyers are actually pretty sucky negotiators). But what about parents who are still together? When we lose our jobs, we don’t get to outsource parenting our kids. We don’t get to throw up our hands and say, “sorry, no buying groceries for you anymore.” We scrimp, and we save, and we put our kids first because we are THEIR PARENTS.
When you’re getting a divorce or separation, you tell your kids, “Mommy and Daddy still love you very much.” You don’t tell them, “out of sight, out of mind.”
I have never been through the child support issue myself (knock wood), but I’ve watched a myriad of friends – male and female – navigate the system. They’ve complained about their ex or whined about what said ex was doing with the cash. But when asked if they would ever go back to fight the amount they pay, what one non-custodial parent had to say made a lot of sense. “If I was still able to live with my kids, I’d spend this money. I’d be buying food for their stomachs and putting clothes on their backs. They’re my kids, and this is my job. Do I like handing the money over to the b-tch I was married to? I don’t think of it that way. I think of it as being their Dad.”
After all, that’s why it’s called child support – because you’re supporting your child.
Image: Gotler
Yes, he SHOULD get a reduction on his child support payments while he is unemployed. The reduction should be temporary and for the duration of the unemployment. The support should be reduced to the level the support would be set at for a person with his income level.
The position you have espoused will either result in his death; his being incarcerated as a felon or his becoming a fugitive.
None of these outcomes are in the best interest of the child.
Lets be specific.
Suppose the is an average earner with a typical income of $2,000/month before taxes.
Let us also assume that the child support order was set for $800/month for two children.
On unemployment, he is probably being given $800/month.
If he turns over his entire unemployment check ($800/month), he will not be able to purchase any food for himself. He will perish.
If he pays a lesser amount, the accumulated arrears will eventually being arrested and labeled as a ‘deadbeat’ dad.
If he pays nothing, at this level of income, no money can be garnished by law, that event happens in 6 months.
If he pays 50% of his income, that event happens at 1 year. Unfortunately, $400/month is not sufficient to live on.
The columnists advice is very bad.
He has to file for a reduction immediately. Reductions in child support are only granted retroactive to the date of filing.
While he should seek to reach an agreement with the mother for a reduction, any agreement needs to be reduced to a consent judgment and approved by a judge. Otherwise the courts will refuse to recognize the parents agreement and will punish him as a deadbeat parent at some point in the future.
So what happens when a married couple loses their income? You are correct, they do not ‘outsource’ their parenting responsibilities. What they do is that they drastically curtail their expentitures – including those expenditures on their children.
Furthermore, they apply for and qualify for assistance from the government – food stamps, etc.
In the divorce case, while the mother can obtain assistance from the government, the government then turns around and seeks to obtain this money from the father.
While the married parents ‘still buy groceries’ for their kids, the type and amount of those groceries are cut back.
This fluff piece doesn’t accurately compare the situation of an unemployed married man and an unemployed non-custodial father. The obvious (to anyone living at the poverty level) advantage of the family that has 1 rent payment instead of two. Not to mention the government benefits a married couple can qualify for that become a debit to the non-custodial father if gotten by his former family. Just another example of the absurd unfairness of the system, a non-custodial father, paying child support can (is) forced to continue paying into their kids early adulthood if their child chooses to go to college. MY father, however, because he was married to my mother, had the right to kick the kids out the door at 18 without another cent or obligation. Men ARE punished by the legal system when their family falls apart. It’s a system that inherently encourages teen pregnancy (the natural economic disincentive is effectively blunted) and divorce, and the men pay more than just financially. No one even bothers to pretend it’s fair anymore…just justifed unfairness in the name of the “kids” who would be better served by having a free and natural father, rather than a semi-criminalized government mandated indentured servant who works for their mother.
fathers who have to support their kids need to support their kids. the father of my child collects unemployment benefits. and he wants to take me back to court to get his childsuppot payment down ,Now this man lives with his mother and don’t have no bill.,while I’m the one who has the house payments and other bill when it comes to my child. when the court order him to pay he ask me a year latre can I take down his order so he can make it, meanwhile he still had a job. So what I did what he ask me to do, so my child can do things with him like take to the zoo and other little things, now he wants to take me back to court for his own sake and he’s really not conern about my child just himself, see that’s what I get for being nice. This man don’t even pick his child up when he need to. So all the fathers out their get over it.If the mother can prove in court that she have child care and medcail expence how low do you think a judge will take her order down, no the courts will tell you get a job;;;;;;;;;;