Parents Advertising for Surrogate Grandmas
Posted by JeanneSager at 8:45 AM on January 19, 2009
There’s no question kids who have them love their grandparents – they spoil them rotten. But if your parents are gone, or might as well be, would you be willing to use the term “grandparent” loosely?
What about letting a perfect stranger stand in, just so your kids can have a grandparent?
A growing number of parents are doing just that. They’re setting up personal ads; only instead of “SBF seeks SM for long walks on the beach, non-smoking, non-freaks” they’re advertising for older folks who have been aching for a youngster to play with.
Matthew Gray, deputy director of the Australian Institute of Family Studies, says it’s largely distance and family breakdowns are keeping kids and grandparents apart, but also playing a major role are the parents who have put off babymaking. The older first-time parents are, the older their own parents are – leaving grandchild-hungry parents waiting, and sometimes leaving first-time parents without their own Mum and Dad when they’re finally ready to start having children.
But parents are no less interested in exposing their kids to another generation, and those who live far away from their own parents still need the extra hand that a grandparent who is nearby is often willing to offer. Hence the advertising.
“I’ve got two small children now and my father lives away from us and
my partner’s mother is not very involved,” Debbie Fitzsimmons told Australia’s Daily Telegraph. “I grew up with two sets of grandparents which I benefited from big time.”
Other parents say the process is equally beneficial to the surrogate grandparents; after all, being with the young is said to keep you young. For older folks who don’t have family nearby, simply having a young family around to check up on them can go far in helping them maintain mental acuity and a connection with the outside world. In turn, the kids learn the importance of community and caring for our geriatric population – besides the stories of days gone by and the candies palmed when Mom isn’t looking.
Would you consider adopting a grandparent or letting one adopt you so your kids can have that experience?
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My husband and I would like to be involved in the adopt a grandparent group as grandparents.
We live 40 kms south of Perth.
Could you tell me if there are any groups available near by.
Regards, Karyn
I am very interested in this, as I have had no contact with own mother for over 6 yrs, due to her having a metal illness. My husbands father is getting quite old, and his mother is very uninvolved. I would like the relationship of an older person for support, adn friendship, and I know my 3 children would benefit hugely from a relationship with older people, as i did asa child.
I left England when i was only 4years old so i never knew what it was like to have grandparents around.My parents and my in-laws live within driving distance of us but bareley have anything to do with our 3 children. I would love for them to have grandparents that took an interest in what they are doing and some one that wanted to spend time with them playing, talking and just having fun.
My husband and I live in Perth with 3 young sons. We have no family at all in Australia; both sets of Grandparents, and extended family living in the UK. I am also trying to find an organisation that sponsors this, but have had no luck when I’ve googled this. Will try through my local church as a starter.
I would love to find a lovely Grand friend for my 2 girls aged 12 and 16. Their Nana who was like a second mother to them passed away about 1 1/2 years ago and I feel they need and would love someone to spend time with other than just myself and husband. I personally would like the relationship of an older lady for advice and friendship and I feel this would be great for the girls. All our family live either interstate or overseas.
We live in Tweed Heads NSW
I would desperately love to find a grandmother for my 2 children. I feel they are missing out on some much -they are 2 & 4. My parents both died 2 years ago and husbands parents are interstate. We are very lonely. We want to share the laughs, the tears, the park, the concerts with someone – we feel we have no one to share our children with! We live near Sandringham, Melbourne, VIC
Hello, I would also like to find grandparents for my 3 children. We live in Perth and my children’s ages are 6,8 and 9.