PETA Wants To Rename Fish “Sea Kittens”

If you want people to take you seriously, don’t be ridiculous.

That’s my advice to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which recently launched a campaign to have fish renamed as “sea kittens.”

“Fish not only have the same ability to feel pain as a dog or a cat, but they also communicate with one another,” Ashley Bryne, PETA campaign coordinator, says. “They have complex social interactions; they form bonds; they express affection by gently rubbing against one another.”

Plus, they’re really smart. How does she know? Because fish live in schools.

Okay, I made that last part up. But the folks at PETA even have a website dedicated to the protection of sea kittens. The site features stories and games and urges visitors to fight to prohibit the “hunting” of “adorable” sea kittens.

“Most parents would never dream of spending a weekend torturing kittens for fun with their families, but hooking a sea kitten through the mouth and dragging her through the water is the same as hooking a kitten through the mouth and dragging her behind your car,” says Byrne. Um, not really. Dragging a fish by a hook through the water won’t completely eviscerate it (that’s what the fisherman is for).

Look, I support a lot of what PETA does: I’m no fan of fur, can’t really stomach seeing an elephant at the circus, and think dogfighting is a pretty horrid “sport.” And I can respect the choice a vegetarian makes.

But can’t we all make those decisions for ourselves, based on the facts and not some delusion about the animals in question? People don’t become vegetarians because animals are cute. They do so because they believe that killing animals for food is wrong. I’d like to see the person who decides to stop eating fish because they’re “adorable.”