When Should The School Call The Parents?

Life in a small town is strange sometimes. I didn’t hear about the punching incident at my daughter’s pre-school from her or even from the teacher.

I heard about it in town, via the long grapevine of small town life. I also heard it was dealt with – appropriately – by the teacher.

It didn’t bother me in the least that I hadn’t known before – after all, my daughter wasn’t involved. But when I mentioned it to another parent, her response shocked me. “You didn’t get a letter? The teacher didn’t say anything?”

Of course she didn’t say anything. One little boy punched another little boy, and the teacher stepped in. She talked to the parents of the kids involved. The parents dealt with it. My daughter wasn’t involved, and therefore I wasn’t involved. I probably would have been more concerned if the teacher was telling the private business of two other children and two other sets of parents – to me.

My friend wasn’t giving up. “But there’s a bully in your daughter’s class. Don’t you want to know to protect her? Shouldn’t you know what happens in that classroom during the day?”

I can see her point, but when I drop my daughter off in the morning, I put her in the care of her teacher and the teacher’s assistant for three hours. I have to trust that those two adults are protecting my daughter, and that they’re ensuring what happens in that classroom is safe and appropriate. If it isn’t, I’d expect them to tell me.

What do you think? Should parents be notified of every “bad” thing to happen in a classroom? Or should notification be child specific?