Update: Mum Seeking Lover For Down’s Son Says Media Sensationalised Story

Don’t believe what you read in the papers. I just got off the air from the World Have Your Say BBC radio program with Lucy and Otto Baxter.

Lucy is the mum I wrote about yesterday who was reported as desperately seeking a lover for her 21-year-old son with Down’s. But according to Lucy herself, the article I was working off had things a bit skewed. Yes, she supports her son’s right to have sex and to have a girfriend and is helping him look, but, she says, it’s absolutely not her in the driver’s seat. She also didn’t seek the publicity: it sought them based on a small section on relationships in a documentary about Otto’s life that’s being released soon. And the idea of visiting sex workers in Amsterdam came up between Otto and his friends—she wouldn’t disapprove, but he’d be paying himself, thank you very much.

I still harbour a little concern about his life being overshadowed by her mainstreaming activism. Lucy was certainly not letting him talk for himself (not, to be fair, that he had much to say, and I was cringing at the personal and stupid questions being asked of him. Would he rather have a girlfriend or go to a prostitute? Are you serious?). And there was a long debate on the show about people with Down’s becoming parents before anyone thought to ask Otto if he wanted to be a father. (Not really, at least not yet.)

But it does seem that the at least some if not most of the yuck factor may have been introduced in the telling. In the meantime, some of the discussions of sex and disability it has spawned could be useful perspectives for parents whose kids may face these issues later in their lives.