Are Working Mothers (And Fathers) Discriminated Against?

We all know the myth of the Superwoman is just that, but where does that leave the normal mom who also needs (and often wants) to work for pay outside the house? In a tragic bind, according to a recent post to the New York Times Economix blog. Women who attempt to balance working with motherhood nearly always pay a significant penalty at the workplace, whether in lost promotions or stagnating pay. Women who don’t have kids are often praised for their ability to give their all to work — but face stigma and gossipy questions about their childless status. Men, you’ll be glad to know, tend to be rewarded either way (though I’m guessing that they benefit at least in perceptual terms for having kids).

The blog’s author admits it can be hard to gauge whether negative effects spring from discriminatory attitudes toward working mothers alone, or whether job performance can indeed suffer across the board for women who have caretaker responsibilities on top of job duties. I’d imagine it’s a little of both — the perception that mothers can’t commit fully to their jobs is endemic, though, and is used against even those mothers who can and do over-perform at work. In a study cited in the Times piece, both men and women evaluating fake resumes tended to discount those of women with subtle hints that they were mothers (telltale maternity leave gaps, etc.).

So what’s to be done, and can the playing field ever be truly even? Or is an anti-mummy (or anti-child) bias just built into our sexist society, never to be overcome? I know that better maternity — and paternity — leave would be one solution, if only to help mothers maintain a consistent paycheck and pay history. But even if men and women were treated more equally in this regard (and in dividing their home duties — I know, this is a pipe dream, and also a presumption of heterosexual couple-dom that I regret but can’t seem to shake when thinking about this topic), where would that leave those with children versus those without? Perhaps we need to widen the scope even further, to seek not just gender parity but also some awareness that family responsibilities don’t always come in the cute little form of a child. Workers caring for aging parents, or ailing partners, also need protection and respect.

Once we start talking about workers being treated with respect by big corporations, I know I’m in the land of fantasy. Still, the reality is so difficult that at times it can be hard to face. My own salary history is so uneven, what with staying home to care for two children, that I’ll probably never again make as much money as my husband (we were on par when we met). I’m not even trying to get back to full-time work yet, but I wonder what limitations I’ll face, and how many of them come down to the parenting choices I have made. Do I regret staying home with my kids? Not for a second. But do I wish mothers and fathers had better options? That’s a no-brainer.