A Date With Your Baby Bump

I’m trying to figure out why the book Postcards From Your Bump: A Chick’s Guide to Getting to Know the Baby in Your Belly bothers me so much. Is it the “duh!” factor? Of course your child’s personality is forming in utero and so what’s on the inside is what you get on the outside.

Or is it the whole “bonding” thing in the first place. I sometimes wonder if we’ve overblown the notion of bonding and that some of us don’t even recognise having actually bonded with our newborns. (I mean, where was the confetti drop? No one sounded the siren! Who issues the official certificate declaring mother and child “bonded”?)

Or maybe it’s this piece of advice: take your bump on a date. (Should you bring flowers?)

Here’s what the authors, Ame Mahler Beanland and Emily Miles Terry, tell VOANews.com:

“Take a little time to appreciate this process,” Terry [said].

Good advice, sure. But that baby bump date? The writers don’t mean dinner and a movie. Instead, you’re supposed to take the Bump to the playground and explore places you’ll eventually want to take the world-side kicking and screaming bundle of joy.

Let me be your 20-20 vision, bump daters. You’ll love your baby. You’ll figure out the playgrounds. So, no zoos. No pre-kid explorations. Take your Bump to a bar, a fancy restaurant, a dirty movie and a staff meeting. Read People magazine on a flight. Let your partner play with your boobs! Take a nap. Oh, for God’s sake, take your bump on a nap!