Parental Lies We’re Not Supposed to Talk About

Originally I was going to link to this amusing list of the top ten lies parents tell eachother and add a few of my own.

But the surprising amount of negative comments to the article revealed a new story.

Alison Godfrey’s piece on news.com.au was a light, humourous piece about the hidden truths of parenting. For example, friends may claim their kids always sleep through the night – except when the child is “sick, under six months, having nightmares, hungry, in an unfamiliar environment, teething or out of routine”.

Likewise, breastfeeding is often portrayed as the easy option, a delightfully natural and nurturing bonding experience. It is all of those things, but it can also be excruciatingly painful and difficult.

The point I think she was making was that some view parenting as a competition, and insist that their child walked earlier/eats better/watches less TV/is smarter than other kids – thereby making the rest of us feel we are doing it all wrong.

Godfrey’s article was slammed by critical commentors, who either called her ‘jealous’ at other parent’s experiences or claimed she was scare-mongering future mothers with tales of labour pain and cracked nipples.

At no point did Godfrey express disappointment with her child, yet received comments like this:

Is it possible that there are, in fact, just as many people bitter about their own bad experiences, that they refuse to accept that there may be some really good children out there? The number of times I’ve heard “Oh, but just wait until she gets older, then you’ll have a different story to tell”. Personally, I don’t need to hear it. If it so happens that things become more difficult later on, then so be it, I won’t hide it, but why try and bring me down? Is it jealousy??

I’ve encountered the same feedback when writing about my own pregnancy aches and labour pains. While some readers were supportive, others (especially men, who haven’t physically experienced either situation!) accused me of lying, whinging, exaggerating or “dragging people down”.

The thing is, I don’t think pregnancy, birth and parenting are black and white. There is a huge amount of joy to be found in these experiences, happiness that is all the more sweet after another long night of two-hour wakings. We need to appreciate the whole ride.