Demeaning Term of the Day: ‘Cuddle Count’

Working mothers, do you feel guilty that you don’t love your kid enough? Well you can sleep a little easier tonight knowing the results of a new study: it turns out there is very little difference between how much time the babies of full-time working mothers are held, cuddled, read to and talked to compared with babies of mothers who do not work.

The report’s co-author, Jennifer Baxter, a research fellow at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, said: “This may be through mothers working hours that allow them to maximise the quality time they spend with their child. The other factor is the extra time the child spends with their father, or other relatives, or carers.

You mean babies of working parents aren’t locked in a cage all day and denied love and affection? Well blow me down with a feather!

The problem with studies like these — and reporting of said studies — is that they make a few assumptions.

1. That it is abnormal for women to work

2. That women should feel some guilt if they do work to provide for their families

3. That love and affection is a mother’s responsibility and a father’s responsibility is a paycheque.

4. That being a good mother is quantifiable by hours spent with child, or by a ‘cuddle count’

Do women really hate eachother so much that we need to start comparing how many times a day we hug our children?

And would we ever see a press release about how often working fathers cuddle or read to their babies?

The important thing is that a child is being nurtured, cuddled and read to. It is up to families to work out how to make that happen.