Parents Whose Facebook Accounts We Want To Take Away

When I went into labor last December, I posted the news on Facebook. It seemed the most efficient way to get the word out to people who had so kindly not bugged me too much in those weeks leading up to — and going past — my due date.

Plus, I knew I’d get all kinds of encouraging comments immediately after hitting “post.” I loved that comments also continued to trickle in throughout the day. Labor’s not so bad when you have wi-fi and loads of friends who like to waste time online.

So I was suprised when there was a mini-uproar over Kimora Lee Simmons twittering her labor. I think it’s funny when announcing pregnancies, labors and births on FB is characterised as something between tacky oversharing to blind self-absorbtion. Come on — FBs not much different than an email with a kajillion addresses in the cc’d box.

That said, I’m so with the creator of the website STFU, Parents [ht: Broadsheet]. Because some of life’s events should not be status-updated.  For example:

The detailed process of collecting your child’s stool sample
Your child’s first bowel movement on the potty (with pic of said child … and said BM!)
Your husband’s bout with diarrhea, a battle your son now faces, too.
Discussing your surprise pregnancy with your partner in comments, including lines like: “I’m sorry.” “I did it, don’t be.” “Two people, baby.” “Still, I could have prevented it.” Believe it or not, this exchange goes on.

Don’t you want to de-friend them immediately?

I think that if your inner-editor doesn’t (1) prevent you from posting about your child’s crap, announcing an unplanned pregnancy to your partner, and posting 50 pictures of your baby in the same chair/same pose/same shot, or (2) can’t help you find a way to be nuanced about it (remember, less is more), then you really ought to consider scrapping your FB account and exclusively posting on Twitter (character limits are a good thing).

I feel for the girl whose mum posts about how embarrassed her teen must be for having a felon for a father — is she really so concerned about her daughter’s privacy? But I feel for these people’s FB friends, more. The status updates, the pics, they’re all there in your face — seen and half read before you realise … before you realize your high-school BFF is talking about her daughter’s/husbands/son’s/dog’s poop. Poop!

I can’t read half these posts without gagging.

Got one of these friends? Please share the most egregious parental FB transgression you or your “friend” committed.

Photo: STFU, Parents