School Kids Learn Their Rights To An Orgasm A Day

There are certain unalienable rights every kid should know about. And if your kid is going to school in a certain sector of England, they’re learning about their right to a daily orgasm.

We should be so lucky.

The pamphlets drawn up by the National Health System are titled “Pleasure,” and promise “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”. According to the Daily Telegraph, it also says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”

In some round-about so rubbishy it almost makes sense logic, the NHS folks say this is the way to discourage teens from having sex… by encouraging them to hold out for REALLY GOOD sex or doing it themselves.

I’m not against the latter – it seems substantially more realistic than abstinence. And have you ever met a teen boy who didn’t already spend hours in the bathroom (and teen girls too – but teen boys are generally much more open about it) with mum’s lingerie catalogue?

As for the former… who knows what good sex is until you’ve had some? So who’s to tell a teenager they aren’t having good sex until they’ve practiced?

On a good note, this does provide every kid with a little something Our Bodies, Ourselves forgot to share: empowerment in the bedroom. Just think – no more women faking it. In fact, if this kind of sex ed had been taught thirty years ago, Meg Ryan would never have earned her grandest moment on film.

Image: Mirror