Mia Freedman Chats To Babble!

In the second installment of our brilliant new series, Family Ties, we chat to Mia Freedman – ex-magazine editor, mum-of-three, keen blogger (mamamia.com.au) and author of Mama Mia – A Memoir of Mistakes, Magazines and Motherhood.*

So, where and when were you born?
Australia 1971

Where did you grow up? Any abiding memories of your childhood there, good or bad?
Sydney. I had an interest in clothes from an early age. When I was three, my mum had to institute a policy of kindy bag inspections before we left the house because I’d smuggle different outfits in my bag and get changed throughout the day.

What were your mum and dad like? Any siblings?
My parents were and continue to be incredibly supportive and patient with me. I went through phases of being pretty naughty but they always had faith I’d turn out OK and it seems I did. I have one older brother.

Did you have any family traditions?
We used to have a fancy dress party every year on Christmas Eve. Some very interesting historical photos there.

How old were you when you left home?
I went overseas for a year when I was about 19 then came back and didn’t move out again until I was about 21.

Did you have a great life plan, a schedule for what you wanted to achieve by when?
From the moment I walked in the door for an interview to do work experience, I was fixated on being the editor of Cleo before I turned 25. It didn’t work out. Cosmo did though.

What was your early adulthood like – where did you live, who did you live with etc?
I lived by myself in an apartment. I was pretty nanna-like from early on. I was so caught up in my job and climbing the career ladder that I was never a big partier. I got that out of the way in my teens mostly.

Did you get married? Divorced? Stay single for as long as possible?
I met my husband when I was about 23 and it was a done deal.

When did the idea of having a baby first occur to you in any real sense?
I was never very interested in other people’s babies but soon after meeting my husband I knew I wanted him to be the father of my children. I think meeting the right man makes your hormones go a little beserk.

Was getting pregnant easy for you?
The first time yes. The second time noooooo. The third time, surprisingly, yes.

How did you feel/how did you react when you first found out you were pregnant?
It felt right even though on paper, the timing wasn’t ideal. I’d been appointed editor of Cosmo three months earlier.

What were your pregnancies like – horrendous, a breeze – or something in between?
I loved it. Loved loved loved it. I loved all my pregnancies. Physically, they weren’t quite a breeze but I enjoyed the process and the phsyciality of it – except at the end obviously. I lose my sense of humour entirely by about month 7 or 8. I was very anxious though. I won’t say I found pregnancy relaxing because I was always paranoid about something going wrong.

What were your labours like?
I guess it was like everything and nothing I expected. The lack of control was obviously a huge surprise because nobody and no book can ever prepare you for what it’s like. Even having had one labour doesn’t prepare you for the next necessarily. I had so much fun writing about each of my births for my book.

What’s it like now having your own family?
The best and most exhausting thing in the entire world. It’s relentless and there’s no off switch but they are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Have you started any new family traditions?
We’re working on a few but it’s hard because you don’t want them to be contrived. They just have to kind of happen. Whenever we sit down to eat a meal as a family (which is shamefully rare), we go around the table and talk about our best and worst moments of the day. I love doing that.

Are there things you swore you’d never do or say (before you had the baby) which went out the window at the first sign of crisis?
Oh, just EVERYTHING. “I won’t bribe my kids with food”, “I won’t let them watch too much TV”, “I’ll be really strict about sleeping habits” blah blah blah. You always have such good intentions – or naïve intentions is probably a better description of it. I have a part in my book called The Smug List and The Crap List where I talk about all the things I feel I’ve done right and all the things I’m sure I’ve done so wrong. Guess which list is longer?

What’s the best thing about parenthood? And the worst?
I once read someone describe becoming a parent as like taking your heart out of your body and carrying it around in the palm of your hand. To me, that’s the best and worst part. You’re so open to every emotion.

What are your kids like?
Completely different to each other. When I just had one boy and a girl I used to think it was gender stuff but now with two boys, I can see it’s just they way they’re born. They come out with their personalities pretty much formed. My three go the spectrum from calm to intense, extroverted to a deep-thinker. Watching your kids grow up is like unwrapping a present – their personalities are such a surprise.

Do you think you’ll have any more kids? What’s your motivation for that?
I’m waiting to feel ‘finished’ as so many women have described it to me. But then I have a girlfriend who has four and she says how it’s easy to be addicted to the baby stage but then they grow up and need to be taken to ballet lessons and doctor’s appointments and it gets harder and harder. We’ll see.

If you could change anything about the whole experience, what would you change and why?
Oh nothing. Wait, maybe I would have liked to have ditched some of the guilt I’ve felt and continue to feel along the way. It’s a pretty self-destructive and pointless emotion. We’re all just doing the best we can and should be kinder to ourselves as parents.

Is life better with kids? How?
Even though I had my first child relatively young, at 25, it was a relief to not be the centre of the universe anymore. I like that kids keep you grounded in reality. As a writer I have a tendency to live too much in my own head and my kids constantly wrench me out of that which is a good thing. And I just love hearing their views on the world and watching them learning and experiencing things. Everything is fresh through the eyes of a child. Although it’s been a long time since I felt fresh with NO SLEEP IN 11 YEARS. At least it feels like that sometimes…..

What does ‘family’ now mean to you now (as opposed to what it meant to you when you were a kid)?
Oh, it’s just my everything. My home, my truth, my salvation, my life’s work. That all sounds a bit wanky but I honestly don’t know where I finish and my family starts. We’re so entwined in each other’s lives and hearts and I’m grateful for that every single day.

*We’ve got three copies of Mia’s new book Mama Mia – A Memoir of Mistakes, Magazines and Motherhood to give away. To score yours, tell us in 25 words or less about the biggest mistake you’ve ever made as a mum. Just get tapping on your keyboard and fill out the comments box below. And good luck!

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