Maybe it was my experience on a clothes-free Italian beach, where a mahogany-tanned man shook his chamois leather at me – but I’ve never been a fan of public nudism. Until now.
I’ve not recently uncovered the secret exhibitionist in me (a night at the student union did that long ago). But were I to pay and display at Le Camping au Naturel, I imagine I’d be reading a broad-sheet in all the right places and sidling awkwardly throughout the day from one waist-high surface to another, with the help of some strategically positioned foodstuffs for the top-shelf. Now, who’s for a slice of this watermelon?
But to be around people who are at ease with themselves – and all of us – in the buff would be a breath of fresh air, wouldn’t it? (If standards of personal hygiene are maintained, obviously). Right now, a naturist camp would be right up my, er, alley.
So why am I letting this all hang out? Well, visitors to our house don’t seem to be able to cope with the levels of nudity. They make lighthearted heavily-weighted remarks like ‘oh, you don’t seem to have any clothes on!’ and ‘ you’ll catch your death’, and kind of cough, nervously. Oh, before you bolt for another blog, it’s not my husband and I that are meeting and greeting in the buff – it’s the kids.
Indeed, Matilda and Ben get their kit off at any opportunity; and being delightfully unaware of the connotations and stigmatisms of having such social bottoms, they do assume playful positions that could be cute, were they wearing pants. Even I have to admit without undies it’s an eyeful. I let it slide, laugh it off, until they start climbing the guests like red-bummed baboons and then I hastily dress them. But the damage is done. We’re the weird family with feral offspring.
Yesterday Matilda had a playdate – a very sweet girl with blonde ringlets and wide blue eyes, which I thought couldn’t possibly get any wider without flipping her face inside out. But then I saw they could. Walking over to the kitchen table to coax more dinner into her, I noticed that her eyes were practically popping, her jaw slack, and so followed her gaze. It travelled across the table and rested on Ben’s willy. Unaware my just-four boy had removed his lower items of clothing, I now saw him, albeit unwittingly, stirring his pasta. He likes to stand on his chair.
I popped him back in pants and turned to the pretty Pollyanna.
‘Haven’t you seen a nude boy before?’
She shook her head – it was now transfixed on a totally naked Matilda.
‘But you have a brother and sister, don’t you?’
She nodded.
‘Do you always wear clothes in your house?’
She nodded. Then to my relief, she giggled. I wonder if she’ll be allowed back to play.
I have no idea if this is a suburban thing, a Christian thing or if my two brats are just really revolting sans culottes. But coming from Europe – permissive from its Scandinvian titty top to its Mediterranean bare bottom – I’ve been taken aback by the vehemently pro-vest attitude we’ve come across. Kids at the beach are never nude – eeee, I can kind of understand that with the cancer scare; but in a year of playdates and mingling with families, I don’t think I’ve seen one cheeky bottom joining the downright rude ones of my children.
I do not make you take your clothes off, you should not make me put them on.
That’s the equal rights spiel of The Australian Naturist Federation, which I found after a quick ogle – er, I mean, Google. I’m inclined to agree, although I’d make post-script amendments like ‘unless I’m playing ten-pin bowls’ or ‘unless I’m cleaning your windows’.
I wasn’t seriously considering a holiday in the nude just so my kids can flash without causing offence, but I wanted to see whether or not Europe was the only State of Undress; I wanted to find out if Aussies were equally eager to get back to nature. There weren’t so many outlets for those who expose, but to my relief I did find some details of nationwide nudist events, music festivals and get-togethers – and pictures of men, fishing in the all-togethers on South Australia’s Maslins Beach. Now that’s what I call getting your tackle out!
But are Southern Hem nudists a frowned-upon minority group? Or is it just that so far I’ve met mums who prefer to keep their families’ privates under wraps?
I don’t know. I do know that I don’t want anyone to bare a grudge against me for rubbing my laissez-fair parenting in their face. So I’ll have words with the kids, persuade them to hold back from stripteasing on playdates away. But desperate as I am to fit in here, I’m not going to insist on a fully-dressed appearance when people come to us. I see tearing around with bare bottoms and gay abandon a right of childhood; and until they start sprouting or displaying an interest in shape-sorting I’m not going to dress nudity up as anything to be ashamed of.
If a mother complains, then I guess I’ll have to apologise for my English upbringing. Being English accounts for so much, like gratuitous apologising, scatological humour and Carry On films. But I’m willing to wear it.
So carry on, kids…
when my eldest was starting school, my three year old would strip off to nothing while we were waiting by the classroom, and run around. he did it so quickly i barely (hahah, barely) had a chance to stop him. after a while i just let him go. everyone knew the naked one belonged to me.
ive never been prudish about nakedness in my house. i wonder if i should now though, now that my boys are older. is there an age where you should cover up in front of your kids?
An excellent article. Carly, no, there should never be an age when you have to cover up. My wife and I were ‘home nudists’ and when our kids were born we wondered at what age they should be when it would be appropriate to cover up in front of them. We decided, why should it ever be inappropriate and became ‘open’ nudists. Our young kids loved it, then puberty reard it’s head and they’re nto so keen anymore. Young kids dont have a problem with nudity, as we see from the article. They learn it from their parents and elders.
Prudery is just child abuse with good intentions. Don’t let the clothing obsessed stop you doing what is right.
If you doubt the child abuse statement, try comparing the teenage pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted infection, etc, etc rates for the most prudish western countries with those for the most liberal. Then think long and hard about the reasons for such enormous differences.
I am Mexican and I agree with Malcolm Boura. Recently some groups linked to children prostitution have been arrested in both Mexico and the States. I suppose that if nudism was more practised in my country we should not have any trouble with those matters. I am so ashamed that we have one of the first countries on child prostitution in the world.
Nice to know others feel that way as well. I was raised to shun nudity, but my natural inclination at that age was to do just what “Harrassed Mum” is talking about. I noticed one day that most kids, given the chance, would ditch their clothes and go on with life. Why do we force clothes on them? I have a 15 year old who enjoys clothes for dress-up, but not for just hanging out at home…her friends know and expect it. My 7 year old started out loving to be naked, but now seems to want them half the time. When they were little, no one said anything about their being naked, but started to make comments to me about it nor for my son, and around age 9 for my daughter. It’s interesting to see what others have done..do you urge your kids to dress or let them enjoy the freedom of being clothing free, and hang a sign warning visitors to beware?
This article is outstanding, and it’s nice to know that there are still some parents who are open minded and rational enough to let their kids play naked without any sense of neuroses. The world would be a much better place if there were more mums like you. I’ve shared your story on my group if you are reading this and curious to check it out.
Just a comment from the UK to reinforce your healthy attitude. I would go on about harmful effects of prudery, but Malcolm Boura has already done it for me!
You are absolutely correct when you say “I’m not going to dress nudity up as anything to be ashamed of.” That is the key point. I hope you can persuade the other parents of the wisdom of your approach. The result will be confident, sensible and ‘well adjusted’ young adults in years to come.
I spend eight years researching the effects of nudity on children and found that one of the most positive things you can do for your offspring is leave them with a feeling that the body is not evil. Because of what we found while writing the book, we called it Growing Up Without Shame. That is one of the greatest advantages of a clothing-optional lifestyle: Having no body shame. Have a nude day to all of you who have lost that body fear.
Hello!
Thanks to all who wrote and commented. I’m heartened to my permissive core that so many people agree with the clothes-free rights of children and see prudity of the hide-your-shame ilk as the emperor’s new clothes, covering what is a sad neurosis/paranoia/archaic mindset. If I wasn’t heading south in all directions I’d be shedding my inhibitions along with my kids.