Bad Parent
Bad Parent: Page 2
Bad Parent
Tough Luck, Kid
We've just wrapped up a riveting game of Memory, in which all the cards feature toddler versions of superheroes like Spiderman, Captain America, and the one Noah, my four-year-old opponent, calls the Hunk when Noah stands and turns to his dad, busy reading the newspaper, and announces "Daddy, I won!" "Er, no you didn't," I protest from my spot o...
Bad Parent
In Praise of the C-Section
When I was pregnant with my third child, I accidentally wandered into a conversation in which two mothers I'd recently met were extolling the virtues of homebirths and water births, midwives and doulas. When the well-meaning mums asked about my birth plan, I told them I was having a scheduled C-section. Their faces conveyed self-righteous disapprov...
Bad Parent
Game On!
"It's too hot," Declan whined at the first practice. "It's too cold," he whined at the last. In between, my four-year-old son proffered every excuse in the book for why he couldn't play soccer that day, despite having begged me to sign him up for it. His socks were falling down. His jersey was too big. He didn't want to play. But I wouldn'...
Bad Parent
In Defense of Sibling Rivalry
Did the neighbors hear that? I hope not, as it sounds as if someone is in our playroom sticking a hot poker in my youngest son's eye. If I lived next door, I would immediately place an emergency call to protective services. Thankfully, all the windows are closed. I take a sip of my morning coffee and sigh, waiting for the ensuing cavalcade that...
Bad Parent
Sick Baby
A few weeks before our son was born, my husband and I made a bet. I asked him how many times he thought we'd bring our little bundle to the doctor's office in his first year of life (not counting check-ups or wellness visits). After a series of complex algorithms involving our own mutually-reinforcing anxiety disorders, our childhood histories of...
Bad Parent
What Child Is This?
My newborn son was a full day old and still we hadn't decided on a name for him. His wristband, his name card, the paperwork all read "Baby Bayless." We had narrowed the list down to four by the time my contractions started and down to two — Brecken and Asher — by the time he came back clean and bundled from the nursery. I thought I...
Bad Parent
Bond Rate
My mother dreamed she was floating in velvet stillness, swimming among the stars. She noticed one of the glittery specks glow a bit brighter than the others. She squinted at the star and knew it was her daughter. "I picked you," she told me, tucking the bed sheets around my schoolgirl body. As my mother retold her story at my wedding, I looke...
Bad Parent
Getting Something Off My Chest
It's two in the morning and I'm on the toilet. This would be a mundane experience if it weren't for the toddler standing beside me nursing. My son is seventeen months old and still breastfeeds. I intended it that way. After reading oodles of attachment parenting literature, I decided that letting my child self-wean on his own time was best. What...
Bad Parent
