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A Pre-school Teacher’s Confession
Here is the disclaimer: I like my job. Really. I like kids. I like being around them. Our days are a routine of comfortable chaos: we sing the Hello song, we play, we paint, we run around, we eat, we sleep, we go home. Someone always gets hurt. Someone always winds up crying. Someone always needs a nappy change at an inopportune moment....
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Happy (Belated) Birthday
My friend Emily and I haven't lived in the same state for years, but we always show up for the important stuff: birthdays, breakups, weddings. When I moved across the country, Emily took a week off of work to drive with me. A few years later, I was back on the East Coast, and Emily was living in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with her husband...
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All My Children… Are Imaginary
I have two boys, Jake, six, and Sam, nine. My favorite child is definitely Jake. I think I treat him better than Sam, too. But I'm fairly certain he's going to be an asshole when he grows up. I can already tell. He preens around my sister, his aunt, upon whom he has an interesting crush. But sometimes he's sneaky and mean. Sam, my oldest, has epile...
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Waiting Online
At the end of my freshman year of high school, I wrote a letter to myself listing things I wanted to do before age twenty-five. I recently found the letter while going through old papers in my childhood home. For the most part, no matter how specific the goals were, I've reached them. Live on Avenue B. Check. Get an article published. Check. Ge...
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The Wisdom Of The Drunk Aunt
There is nothing more life-affirming than sitting on a bench with the mummies, watching children play. For me it affirms that I have no children and that's the way I like my life. So, despite the fact that city parks are germ-infested, primary-coloured paedophile magnets, there are times you just gotta get out of the house. Besides, I like going wi...
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The Toddler Has No Clothes
"Your friend Emma is on the radio," my husband informed me not long ago. He turned up the volume. "She called in." Emma's voice, as sweet and familiar to me as a sister's, filled my living room. "He's much happier not wearing a nappy," her voice was saying. "I mean, how would you like to sit in your own poo and not be able to get away from it? It...
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The Prodigy
When people start talking about their crazy childhoods, I get a little defensive: few were as odd as mine. When I was eight years old, a national chess champion, the television cameramen invaded my bedroom. When I entered university at ten, my calculus professor spotted me in the front row and asked where my parents were. When I was an undergrad, m...
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