When Julie Powell left her two small children at a drop-in day care facility in Billings, Montana, she thought she had done her due diligence.  She checked out the company’s website and inspected the facility.  After learning that the daycare had been in business for over 20 years, she felt confident in leaving her kids there while she spent an afternoon playing golf with her husband.  But perhaps she should have paid closer attention to the name of the daycare before entrusting them with her children:  Toddler Escape Drop-In Child Care.

Of course, toddlers aren’t supposed to escape from Toddler Escape, but that’s exactly what Powell’s 18-month-old son did. According to police, Carter Powell wandered unnoticed out of a back door and onto a busy street alone. He was spotted by a passerby, who called police and waited with him until they arrived.

As horrifying as that is, it actually get worse. When Powell arrived to pick up her kids, workers at the daycare centre didn’t even bother to mention the incident. They took her money and sent her on her way none the wiser. Sarah Heiser, president of Toddler Escape, says she had every intention of telling Powell what had happened to her son but wanted to get the whole story from her employees first.

The ‘whole story’ conveniently absolves the day care of any responsibility for what happened.  According to Heiser, the wind blew open a back door at a time when one of the two workers in charge of Carter’s group happened to be in the bathroom. The other worker was with the children but somehow did not notice a door flying open and a child walking out of it.

Police investigated the facility and determined that Carter’s escape was a fluke and that the daycare centre was a safe and secure environment.  Unless, of course, the wind blows.  In that case, all bets are off.

Image: mahalie/Flickr

What are the three most common mistakes parents make when starting their kids at a new school?

Expert: Paul J. Donahue, psychologist and author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters.

1. Forgetting to Prepare

"A few weeks before your little one is due to start, visit the daycare centre or school, drive past it a few times. Talk about it. Play on the playground. Meet the teacher so your child knows he or she is a trusted adult, someone they can count on. Most parents are good about those points. But you should also do some other homework, like familiarising your child with their routine. For instance, if your child is attending school in the morning and they’re still hanging out in their jimjams until 10 am, start waking them up around the time they’ll be eating breakfast. Also find out what type of activities and games your child’s going to play at school or if they’re going to sit in circle time, so they know what to expect on the first day. Another good idea: Have your child talk to other kids in your neighborhood who attend the same school; older kids are the best salesmen!"

2. Focusing on the negative

"Many parents inadvertently say things like ‘You might miss Mummy when you’re at school,’ or ‘Don’t let kids pick on you,’ and even go so far as to warn kids about strangers or germs. While it’s important to address issues as they come up, like if your child’s being picked on, it’s not the way to prep kids for school. You want your kids to see you as confident and feel as though you see their school as a positive place; a place where they’re going to learn a lot and where there are fun things to do. Say things like, ‘There will be really nice teachers,’ or ‘You’re going to make lots of friends,’ or ‘They have a really cool playground.’ You don’t have to overhype it, but don’t plant seeds of negativity before their first day."

3. Not transitioning well

"This is the biggest mistake parents make, and I hear it all the time from teachers. It’s imperative that you arrive on time, so kids get in the right routine. Coming in late when other kids are already settled is discombobulating. Another tip: Follow the teacher’s lead when it comes to separating. Teachers will often say, ‘Give Mummy a kiss and a hug and then Mummy’s going to go.’ After that, don’t linger and don’t walk in and out of the classroom; be short and sweet. Also, stick to a schedule. Arrive and pick up your kids at the same time every day. Let them know in advance if Mummy or Daddy won’t be picking them up. Kids get very anxious if you schedule a last-minute playdate without their knowledge, and suddenly another mum is taking them home. And if you have a babysitter or nanny, let your kids know what days to expect them."

As told to Andrea Zimmerman.

Wait, wait. You pay extra for the high-quality, extra-certified, Italian-named, fun, fun, loving and fun daycare? Too bad. Doesn’t matter. You farmed out the kid. She pays the price as a teen.

So is this good news for mums who stay home? Not exactly. Because if you’re insensitive — mind you, insensitivity did not get defined — you’ve also managed to stress out your kid whether or not he was in center-based daycare.

A brief write-up of the study from the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development says researchers observed 1,000 children, ages one-month to mid-adolescence, in and out of their homes. They tested the awakening cortisol levels of the teens, which, when normal, are high in the morning and lower as the day goes on.

The kids who were in daycare and/or had crappy mums awoke with lower levels of cortisol and, therefore, were determined to be stressed.

My poor kids and their future stressed-out teens! They have not only been in various forms of center-based childcare (sometimes called “preschool”!), but their mother has been known to show an insensitive side when stressed, a condition that is clearly the result of her own childhood spent in center-based daycares. The cycle!

A couple of Florida parents have a different idea about how to resolve inappropriate touching between preschoolers: a lawsuit to the tune of $US5 million.

They allege that their four-year-old daughter experienced emotional trauma at the Starchild Academy daycare center, after she was “molested and otherwise touched in a sexually inappropriate manner” by another little boy. They are suing the daycare for negligence.

This story is clearly reported with a bias to the daycare, so it’s hard to know whether there is any merit to the offended parents’ case. Assuming that it’s true that their daughter was deeply disturbed by inappropriate contact from another student, this little girl needs to be cared for, not used as a pawn in a lawsuit.

The daycare administrators got it right when they said that the goal in a case like this should be to look out for the welfare of both students. According to a teacher at Starchild, “Our agency would not consider a child, at that young of age, a perpetrator. Therefore, our role is to insure that the child is not a victim of child abuse themselves.”

Photo: Kincaid Construction

In the US , twenty-four hour daycare centres have started to pop up. Places like Children’s Choice in Dallas have seen spikes in attendance with the economic downturn, even while other daycares around the country are losing customers. Parents are taking on second jobs after the nine-to-five shift or picking up shifts they might not have opted for in the past because a job’s a job – no matter the time.

According to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, a quarter of the nation’s eleven million kids in thirty-six hours of daycare per week are in an arrangement strung together by their parents because they can’t find any one place that meets their needs. Quitting a job to stay home – especially in this economy – isn’t an option for these parents. In twenty to twenty-five percent of the dual-earning families, the mothers are the primary breadwinners.

What’s most interesting is these kids don’t have altered schedules like their parents. They eat dinner before heading off to nighttime daycare, they take a bath and get into their jammies. Then they’re dropped off at the center. They sleep through the night right in the daycare center while their parents are at work.

Would this work for you? Or would you prefer to have the night with your kids?

Image: My Sweet Dreams Baby

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Roxanna Patricia Villamarin seemed like the perfect nanny, until her clients found out that instead of taking their children on fun outings to the zoo, she was dumping them at another in-house daycare. Villamarin paid this unlicensed daycare provider $US10 per day.

Her own salary? $US16 per hour.

Now she’s facing five counts of grand theft, one count of intimidating a witness and one count of annoying phone calls (is that a real crime?).

How did she do it?

Villamarin encouraged her clients with her focus on educational outings and strong opinions on child-rearing. She even offered to make organic homemade baby food for the little ones. But according to officials, Villamarin had been leaving at least five clients’ children in a rundown apartment over five years.

“She would pick up the children; she would drop them off at an unlicensed daycare centre. And she would pursue other goals,” City Attorney Will Rivera said. Goals like working other jobs, in a farmer’s market and in her family’s restaurant.

Villamarin told the kids they were going to “the library,” so when the kids relayed that information to their parents, no red flags were raised.

But there weren’t many books in “the library,” a small, rundown apartment with barred windows on a busy street in East Hollywood.

I know if my kids told me their nanny was taking them to the library all the time, I’d be thrilled. But I like to think I’d ask them a little more about it.

What did you read at the library? Did you go for story time? Did you see any of your friends there? Where are the books you checked out? One child told his parents he took a shower at the library. Villamarin told the parents their son was being silly, but that certainly would have given me pause. My children shouldn’t be showering anywhere I’m not.

According to Villamarin, the parents deserved it. “They treat me bad, I treat them bad,” she says. Among her complaints: she was underpaid, didn’t receive health insurance, and was paid under the table. Did she ever raise these issues? “No, it’s not my style to complain,” she says.

Outsourcing her work and taking advantage of trusting parents, however, is her style.

Earlier today, fellow Stollerderby team member Jen confessed that she was a “plate-and-cups parent”. When given the choice for signing up for a Halloween party at her son’s daycare, she opted to provide the spoons and cups. Last weekend, I was met with the very same dilemma, the dreaded Halloween Party Potluck Sign-Up.

But me, I’m at the other end of the spectrum. Instead of opting for the time effective and easy, I try to find a way to make the task the most time consuming, complex and difficult as I can make it. And I always, without a doubt, regret it.

When signing up for the before mentioned party, what did I opt to make? Four dozen bat shaped polenta hors d’ouevres, some dyed a midnight hue of black, with homemade olive tapenade eyes. Yeah, I went there. Martha would have been proud. In the past, I’ve also made a series of one-of-a-kind handmade plush monsters as party favours for my daughter’s second birthday, made a historically accurate Marie Antoinette dress for her first Halloween, and hand pureed all her baby food. Yup, I’m one of those. Sadly, I’m so exhausted by the time I finish one of these projects, I have no chance to sit back and enjoy the moment. Next time, I’m going to join Jen and try to change my stripes to be a “paper and cups” parent.

Who am I kidding? I’ll just get myself into some crazy project pickle yet again. Who needs sleep or sanity? Any other project crazed parents out there, those who take on way too much than you can chew?
 

Now, my mom was not lazy by any means. She threw birthday parties that would have made Martha Stewart look like a horribly uncreative, special-occasion slacker. But with two kids, she had all the demands for pastries and potato chips she could handle. 

I mention this because last week I realised something significant: I have become a plates-and-cups mother, too.

My son's daycare is throwing a Halloween party. Last week, the staff posted a sign-up sheet on his classroom door asking parents to contribute refreshments. I quickly scanned the list to see what was requested. Brownies … veggies … spoons and cups! Ding! Ding! Ding!

I scrambled so quickly to scrawl my name next to those two items that I nearly dropped my son on the ground and threw out my back. I wanted to be the mum who would walk through the daycare center's brightly painted doors on Oct. 31 holding tupperware containers filled with orange-and-black frosted cupcakes, each one topped with an appropriately spooky Gummi worm. But I knew the truth. I hang daily by a pretty thin thread, and if I add mandatory baking to my list of things to do, I might find myself checking into a mental facility for overstressed mothers.

So I did the easy thing and opted for cups and cutlery. And honestly, I didn't feel that guilty about it. Plus, I finally understood my mother's position on this issue. In a world that spins way too fast for most parents to keep up with their kids or their jobs, let alone both, sometimes the smartest, most reassuring thing you can do is go with the cups.

Is anyone feeling me on this one? Do you routinely volunteer for fruit punch or plastic fork-and-knife duty when your child's class throws a party? And if so, do you feel any guilt? 

Image: www.birthday-supplies.com

All daycares are not alike. Some corral the kids like lost puppies at the RSPCA, others have a day to day agenda not unlike an academically driven primary school. But how do the daycare differ from others around the globe? Writer Yumiko Ono shared her daughter’s daycare experience in Tokyo, Japan in a piece she penned for the Wall Street Journal.

Here are some interesting tidbits and examples about how the Japanese daycare system is run.

• The public daycare  fees don’t exceed $650 a month in Tokyo for kids under three. Half are run publicly while the rest are managed by private groups. In major US cities, daycare costs an average $917 a month.

• Each day, when they arrive at the school they note in a log book the body tempature of the child to make sure the kid isn’t afflicted with any illness.

• The day’s highlights are noted in journal such as the entry, "She stretched out her legs in the pool and pretended to be an alligator,"

• At the end of the day, parents pick up their children’s things as well as the soiled nappies “each rolled up and marked with her name, await in a basket.”

• And we’re not the only country with preschool and daycare being as competitive to get into as a decent college. Getting that “coveted slot requires patience and strategy.”  Yeah, we know that one all too well!

For entire story click here.