What did the nanny do during that time? She sat in her employer’s home watching TV and helping herself to the food in their fridge.

According to UK newspaper The Telegraph, the nanny was making one hundred rupees ($2.30) a day from her fraudulent deed. The nanny drugged up the boy and handed him over to beggars who panhandled with him as a prop. The dirty jig was exposed when the boy’s mum came home early from work one day.

We’ve never been fans of hidden cameras in the home, but it sounds like an exception just came up. In fact, it would probably be a good idea in countries where there is a real possibility of your kids being exploited as in the case above.

Image: Matti Mattila

Blaine worked as a nanny herself, for a year after finishing grad school and she found the job excessively difficult and demanding.  Whether it’s due to high drama family dysfunction or just the same monotony that mothers everywhere face, but with more reward, nannies are under constant pressure.

Though Blaine collected hundreds of vignettes from hundreds of nannies in her research, she goes closely and in depth to profile three women, and encompass as much of the nanny experience as she can.  One woman is working “off the books,” one lives in with her employers, one is active in a national professional organisation for nannies, jetting off to conferences and even organising her own while working 60 hours a week caring for twins.

In some ways, the book is a voyeuristic look into the lives of the wealthy.  Many of the parents who hire nannies prove to be annoying control freaks and sometimes even cold-hearted abusers.  And the book is decidedly in the nannies’ corner–giving the reader a glimpse of the pain of mothers who leave their own children behind to care for others; of infertile women longing for babies of their own as they raise strangers’; of women who love their charges as much as any parent, but have to leave them behind with little explanation when the children outgrow them and they are dismissed.

But the parents who employ nannies are not simplistically or simply vilified.  Many mothers develop close partnerships with their nannies–partnerships that sometimes rival those of mother and father.  Many women worry almost as much about the well being of their nannies as of their children, helping them escape abusive romantic entanglements, get into safe apartments, pay for night school.

In a world full of reality tv “nannies” and “housewives” who come across as nothing if not pure air and fantasy, Blaine’s thoughtful and rounded examination of this unique style of cooperative child rearing is a welcome change.

The genius of the nannycation is pretty obvious. Someone is there, 24/7, to deal with your kids when they’re fighting over where to go mini-golfing, insisting on splashing everyone within a 10-mile radius of the hotel swimming pool or begging for something to eat when you just want to bury yourself in “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” If you and your spouse or significant other want to have a nice dinner alone one night? Done. If you want someone else to con the little buggers into brushing their teeth and going to bed while you enjoy peace, quite and  a glass of wine? All set.

The down side, of course, is that the nanny or appointed caregiver has to be paid. But let’s pretend money isn’t really an object. (And if you’re someone who either has or would seriously consider this option, it probably isn’t.) Family vacations are supposed to be about just that: spending time with family. As much as I might be tempted to bring along some hired help if I had the means, I don’t think I could because I’d feel like I was somehow cheating in the Game of Mom. I’d feel disengaged from my children and concerned that they would might see themselves as burdens to their own parents, extra baggage that has to be pawned off on some family employee. I mean, in every book, play or movie about a screwed-up upper or upper middle class kid — from “Romeo and Juliet” to “Igby Goes Down” — don’t the adolescent characters blame their misguided behavior and lousy outlooks on life on their uninvolved, dismissive mothers and fathers? (For some reason, we rarely say this about the parents in “Mary Poppins.” Which, perhaps, is a matter for another blog post.)

Of course, I suppose if the nanny had become a close family friend, bringing her (or him) along  might feel much more natural than I am characterizing it here. (This writer, for example, has very fond memories of having a babysitter during a trip to New York as a child.)  Tell me: am I being too harsh? Have you brought your nanny on vacation, or known someone who did? How did you feel about it and did it make the trip much more relaxing for everyone?

Image: Escape Deals

Those who hire a nanny for their children cite the advantages of personalised, individual child care in a familiar home environment. There are downsides, too — cost is chief among them. Other potential snags include loss of privacy and the solitary nature of nanny care, which makes trust an even bigger issue than it is in daycare. If you choose to hire a nanny, the process can be daunting. Articles such as the one below on iVillage provide step-by-step guides for the search. Others suggest using a nanny agency, which can weed out the least qualified candidates. The competition for great nannies can be cutthroat; one article even suggests poaching qualified-looking nannies in your local park. Just remember: parents may gripe about the difficulty of finding a nanny they like, but chemistry is often an issue for the nannies too. One article says most nannies say they love taking care of kids, but that they have a hard time stomaching the idiosyncrasies of the parents.

GeoParent
“How to Find and Keep a Good Nanny”

“Many families [...] choose to use the services of nanny agencies [that sort] through the less desirable candidates on their behalf — something that can be a tremendous time saver. You don’t have to use the services of a nanny agency, of course — provided that you have the time and the expertise required to do the hiring yourself.” …read the full article

iVillage
“Hiring a Nanny”

“If you want your children to stay in your home and receive consistent care from one person who will grow to know and love them, then you are likely looking for an in-home caregiver or nanny.” …read the full article

BabyCentre Australia
“Nannies: How To Spot A Good One”

“You may find a carer who can do everything well, but if she truly enjoys being in the company of children, your kids will know it. Her enthusiasm will shine through every day that she’s with them.” …read the full article

The Nanny Doctor
“Maintaining The Bond: Your Family’s Relationship With Your Nanny”

"The relationship your child has with their nanny is a very important one, one that has potential to provide them with a sense of safety and security. Next to you, your nanny maintains your child’s emotional and physical safety on a daily basis. In addition to their own interactions with the nanny, children learn about relationships by watching you with their nanny." …read the full article

Careforkids.com.au
“Retaining Your Nanny”

“Take a business approach to the hiring of a nanny. Establish a contract of employment either formally in writing or verbally through open discussion. This should include salary, benefits, hours of work, main duties and responsibilities, sickness and holiday entitlements, notice period and disciplinary issues. If the contract is in writing it should be signed by both parties.” …read the full article

Childcare options are a sensitive topic, fraught with class and financial issues. There is no hard data on whether daycare or at-home-care is better for children. Both options have pros and cons, including logistical hurdles. If the at-home caregiver is a nanny, economics will factor in; paying a nanny to take care of a single child is considerably more costly than sending one child to a daycare centre. The tables begin to turn, however, if you have two or more kids, in which case the cost of hiring a nanny may be similar to, or even lower than sending the kids to daycare. Debates also rage on what type of care is better for a child’s development. Daycare centers provide pedagogical activities and ample opportunity for socialising and learning to function in big groups. On the downside, daycare centres also offer up exposure to a cornucopia of germs and children in daycare are more likely to be sick often than children cared for at home. Those who favour nannies feel that a child will learn to socialise with large groups of people soon enough and that the individualised care a nanny can provide far outweighs any scheduled activities at a daycare center.

Dr. Sears
“Work with Mom or Daycare?”

"I still think that at this age, going to work with mom is better than daycare. Watching mom work will probably provide some good stimulation; you will notice that he is very busy checking out what is going on around him. You will also be able to hold him occasionally if needed." …read the full article

Children, Youth and Women’s Health
“Choosing Child Care”
“Different kinds of care suit different children and children at different ages. Parents need to think about the special needs of their own children and try to find the care that suits their family best.” …read the full article

Raising Children Network
“Childcare Types”

"Most families will need to rely on child care at some stage in their children’s lives. You may need just one hour a day, one or more days a week, all-day care for up to five days a week or even overnight care." …read the full article

NSW Government Department Of Community Services
“Choosing The Right Childcare For Your Child”

“All services should have written information available which covers what their educational objectives are and how they will be achieved, how parents can have day-to-day input into the programs and how each child’s individual interests will be catered for.” …read the full article

Careforyourkids.com.au
"Comparing Chidcare Options"

"Once you’ve understood the different types of child care available, you need to decide which option suits you and your child. Compare the pros and cons of differing types of child care, and consider." …read the full article

Roxanna Patricia Villamarin seemed like the perfect nanny, until her clients found out that instead of taking their children on fun outings to the zoo, she was dumping them at another in-house daycare. Villamarin paid this unlicensed daycare provider $US10 per day.

Her own salary? $US16 per hour.

Now she’s facing five counts of grand theft, one count of intimidating a witness and one count of annoying phone calls (is that a real crime?).

How did she do it?

Villamarin encouraged her clients with her focus on educational outings and strong opinions on child-rearing. She even offered to make organic homemade baby food for the little ones. But according to officials, Villamarin had been leaving at least five clients’ children in a rundown apartment over five years.

“She would pick up the children; she would drop them off at an unlicensed daycare centre. And she would pursue other goals,” City Attorney Will Rivera said. Goals like working other jobs, in a farmer’s market and in her family’s restaurant.

Villamarin told the kids they were going to “the library,” so when the kids relayed that information to their parents, no red flags were raised.

But there weren’t many books in “the library,” a small, rundown apartment with barred windows on a busy street in East Hollywood.

I know if my kids told me their nanny was taking them to the library all the time, I’d be thrilled. But I like to think I’d ask them a little more about it.

What did you read at the library? Did you go for story time? Did you see any of your friends there? Where are the books you checked out? One child told his parents he took a shower at the library. Villamarin told the parents their son was being silly, but that certainly would have given me pause. My children shouldn’t be showering anywhere I’m not.

According to Villamarin, the parents deserved it. “They treat me bad, I treat them bad,” she says. Among her complaints: she was underpaid, didn’t receive health insurance, and was paid under the table. Did she ever raise these issues? “No, it’s not my style to complain,” she says.

Outsourcing her work and taking advantage of trusting parents, however, is her style.