MacFarlane recently explained “20th Century Fox, as always, allowed us to produce the episode and then said, ‘You know what? We’re scared to f–king death of this.” But a lucky audience got the chance to experience the episode live and in person.

On Wednesday, members of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences plus members of the press were treated to a reading of the episode by the cast of the popular animated show. Seth MacFarlane along with John Viener, Danny Smith, Christine Lakin, Alec Sulkin, Mila Kunis and Alex Borstein read the episode in front of a live orchestra. In between episodes MacFarlane and Borstein entertained the audience with musical routines.

So what happens in this episode? The Associated Press reported that:

“Most of the episode dealt with matriarch Lois (played by Borstein) deciding to become a surrogate mother for her infertile friend — against Peter’s wishes. After her friend is killed in a car crash, the Griffins are left with the difficult decision of what to do about the pregnancy.

At one point, Peter watches an anti-abortion video, which proclaims several people would be alive if abortion wasn’t legal, including a fourth Stooge, the guy who would have killed Adolf Hitler and Osama bin Laden’s America-loving brother, who could have prevented 9/11.”

Although the episode will never actually air of the tube, a Fox Television spokesperson said that it will probably be included in an upcoming DVD release.

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If I give in, I won’t have to either. I slip my hand out of the warmth of our comforter and slide it across flannel, feeling for the spot where the remote landed when it ricocheted from my nose. I point it in the general direction of the TV on our dresser and press "power." "There you go, honey," I mumble, but it’s muffled, my head already burrowing back into my pillow.

My daughter goes from sixty to zero. Mummy’s stint as a human trampoline is over. Jillian is already curled in a foetal position, her head on Daddy’s pillow, her eyes fixed on Cookie Monster as he once again devours the letter of the day.

"Cookie Monster’s funny," she says through a fit of giggles. Apparently, that joke never gets old. But I have.

Two years ago, I called my husband at work, horrified. My friend had dropped her three-year-old off for the day, and he’d spent the morning demanding the Disney Channel. "Can you believe it?" I asked Jonathan, full of righteous indignation. "I had books I picked up at the library yesterday. Boy books! Books just for him! And all he wants to do is watch TV. What are they teaching him?"

"It’s okay, honey," he said. "Just let him watch a little TV. He’s fine. I watched TV, and I’m fine, right?"

"Yeah, fine," I muttered to our then-infant daughter as I got off the phone. "Daddy’s fine, but his world revolves around SportsCenter. And God forbid the cable goes out . . . oh, noooooooo."

I was darn sure my baby wasn’t going to go down that road. I wasn’t going to use TV as babysitter. I wasn’t going to park my kid in front of the idiot box. I wasn’t going to be a cliche. And my position had some extra credibility, because I, ahem, didn’t have television until I was seventeen. Yes, that’s right, folks, step right up and see the ’80s child who never even had the chance to figure out just what Willis was talking about.

When I was pregnant, I sported that fact like a badge of honour. The fact that I’d spent most of high school begging my parents for a cable hook-up so I could get in on all the talk about Ross and Rachel was quickly forgotten.

"I love to read," I’d tell people, rubbing my belly. "And this one will too. I’m going to limit how much TV little Squirmy watches. We’re going to read books every night before bed, and every morning. You know, I didn’t have TV, and I could sort my parents’ mail when I was two and a half."

Jillian’s two and a half now. She can’t sort our mail.

She can tell you Curious George airs after Sesame Street. Then we switch the channel. What she watches next depends, really, on when I rouse myself from my cocoon and head downstairs for my morning caffeine injection. If it’s time for Pinky Dinky Doo, the TV in the living room is tuned to Noggin while I putter in the kitchen. If The Upside Down Show is still on, I’m open to negotiations.

"Cars or The Little Mermaid?" I ask.

"How ’bout . . . um, this one?" Jillian counters, grabbing Blue’s Clues Shapes and Colours off her shelf at the bottom of our DVD collection.

I don’t even blink. Whipping the disc out of the box, I do a quick switch in the DVD player, and she settles on the couch with a yoghurt drink and plate of toast.

By the time she wanders down the hall to my office thirty minutes later, I’ve made three phone calls and answered a host of emails. I’ve checked in with my editor and scheduled two interviews — one face-to-face, one on the phone, set for fifteen minutes from now.

So I couldn’t be happier to see she’s brought another movie with her. This time, it’s Thomas’ Trusty Friends, and she wants to watch it in the office. Not a problem — that’s why there’s a DVD/VCR combo sitting beside my printer and a TV on top of the shelving unit filled with colouring books and puzzles. It’s looking like this might be one of those days when Jillian watches something like six hours of television.

Somewhere, the me of two years ago is holding her head in her hands. After all, all the media reports will tell you kids shouldn’t be watching television at all, let alone all day.

Television commercials — isn’t that ironic — are aired daily with suggestions of outdoor activities to get your kids away from the tube. Mummy magazines are full of numbers from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) — zero hours of television recommended for children under two and all that. The AAP says, "Research has shown that children who consistently spend more than four hours per day watching TV are more likely to be overweight." Their experts say, "Kids who view violent events, such as a kidnapping or murder, are also more likely to believe that the world is scary and that something bad will happen to them." And let’s not forget, the AAP says, "Research also indicates that TV consistently reinforces gender-role and racial stereotypes."

So, let me get this straight: I’m raising a fat racist who’s afraid of everything, a girl who’s going to fall all over herself to let men be the boss.

Tell that to the little girl playing in her toy kitchen in the next room. Her pants are falling off her skinny hips. Tonight she’s going to beg, as she does every other night for repeated readings of her favourite bedtime story, Georgie and the Noisy Ghost.

When I finally get her to bed, she’ll tell me she loves me. And when I say it back, she’ll smile. "’Cause I’m the most beautiful, most smartest girl in the world. I’m smarter than Daddy and everybody."

Oh dear, what am I going to do about her self-esteem?

The truth is, I’m not crazy about all the TV watching in my house — whether it’s Jillian or my husband in front of the screen. But I sacrifice to the TV gods in exchange for a work-from-home job, one that lets me spend more time with my daughter but requires me to offer her a smaller piece of my attention during the day.

It’s not a daycare provider parking her in front of the screen; it’s her mother, the same lady who curls up on the couch for a solid hour in the afternoon, reading Make Way for Ducklings and Goodnight Moon. It’s the same woman who spends bath time giving voices to the rubber duckies and spelling with foam letters on the wall. It’s her mother, who will kiss her goodnight and tell her she’s the smartest and most beautiful girl in the world, and that yes, she can watch Elmo in Grouchland in the morning.

Ms. Deni wanted to surprise her teenage son by giving him his own big-screen TV, so while their new home was being built, she contacted her local audio-visual store with an an idea: Instead of mounting the set to the wall, like everyone else does, she suggested having the TV laid flush across the ceiling. Of course!

To do this, installers had to reframe and reinfore the ceiling to hold the massive video projector, screen and projector mirrors that made-up the TV system.

Although it kind of hurts my neck just to look at a photo of the television set-up, apparantly the boy doesn’t have to be completely horizontal to view it. Which is good, or Ms. Deni could be facing some massive chiropractic bills.

The  mother claims that her son spends much of his time viewing and editing his own videos, not playing Grand Theft Auto.

Let’s hope they don’t have to lift him out of his bed via a crane in afew years due to all that inactivity.

[Via Gizmodo AU]

The Indian government is making a push to bring televisions into more homes in rural parts of the nation in hopes that people will be so busy watching the tube they’ll spend less time having sex… and making babies.

In a country that once boasted the dubious honour of adding more people to the world’s population per year than any other place on earth and eighty-one million people living below the poverty line in its urban centers alone, population control is big issue. And they’ve tried other measures – including fast-tracking special gun permits for men who agree to vasectomies.

It’s also not NEW news that the Indian people need help to keep the population in check. A NY Times article from the early eighties reveals the government was paying women cash back then as an incentive for undergoing tubal ligations, and the government was subsidising both the pill and condoms.

But TV? As birth control?

The London Times quoted Ghulam Nabi Azad, the Health and Family Welfare Minister, on the issue, saying “If there is electricity in every village, then people will watch TV till late at night and then fall asleep. They won’t get a chance to produce children.”

I suppose he’s right – after all – what happens when the electric goes out during storms? You end up with the hurricane baby booms!

Is this going to be the new “I have a headache?” Sorry honey, can’t have sex because there’s a new episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” on tonight. Then again, the sight of McSteamy may simply make for sex LATER in the evening.

Image: Guardian

Fears That Swine Flu Can Attack A Newborn
The H1N1 flu virus can damage the developing brains of unborn offspring, scientists have found. Times Online

Work-Life Balance Worse For Women
Women and men are now equal at work – at least in their dissatisfaction with it, a report out today shows SMH

Lin Daughter Sad But ‘Unafraid” Of Killers
Brenda Lin remains unafraid of the killer or killers who murdered five members of her family in their beds. SMH

Chief Justice Questions Parenting Laws
Family Court Chief Justice Diana Bryant has described the contentious shared parenting laws as “problematic” and the expectation of fathers as “a concern” as the government embarks on three inquiries into family violence. The Australian

Parents Demand Schools Come Clean About Swine Flu Risk
Parents are demanding the right to know if a student at their child’s school has swine flu as the number of deaths from the disease continues to rise. Courier Mail

Girl, 12, Dies As Fears Grow Of Swine Flu Surge
Another child with swine flu has died, taking the national toll to 48 and prompting a warning from experts of a renewed surge in cases as schools return from the winter break. The Australian

Grieving Family Of Naylor Walden Blames System
A sick four-year-old child was repeatedly refused access to a remote Aboriginal community hospital until less than 24 hours before her tragic death. Courier Mail

‘Depression Not Web Killed Chanelle’
When renowned child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg visits the Geelong high school where 14-year-old Chanelle Rae last week became the fourth student this year to kill herself, he will carry a blunt message to parents. The Australian

One of the largest increases — 4.9per cent — was among the 25- to 39-year-old demographic associated with big mortgages and young children.

So, could it be that families have less money to spend on out-of-home entertainment? This article makes the comparison to the Great Depression, when families entertained themselves at home by singing around the piano.

In total, the audience was 2.3 per cent greater than in the corresponding period last year, with the largest increase among the 25- to 54-year-old group, which grew by 4.1 per cent.

And it seems viewers are turning to feel-good family entertainment when they switch on the box.

Top-rating programs include the Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation, MasterChef, The Zoo and Merlin.

Have you stopped movie nights and cancelled your pay tv subscription due to dwindling finances? Or maybe it’s just really cold out and families are scared of catching swine flu.

Every week Grayson, his brothers and his dad watch“Man vs. Wild” together. Grayson learned the very important tip to leave clues so that searchers would be able to find him. He used the bright yellow rain slicker he was wearing and tore it apart and tied to trees – despite the intermittent rain that fell upon him. He found shelter under a tree during the night.

The next day, the yellow scraps along with a discarded muesli bar wrapper, a footprint and his backpack, all aided the searchers in locating the boy. He was finally found by searchers on horseback.

His first words to his dad when he was reunited? “Happy Father’s Day.”

His dad said that …”the thing that he recognized from the show, regardless of the circumstances you’re in, you are capable of surviving.”

Has your child ever learned anything really important from TV?

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For those unfamiliar with the phenomenon, the series stars a four-year-old boy in “real life” situations like getting lost at the grocery store or having his first sleepover. They’re written with a lot of participation from a child psychologist, with the goals of showing a realistic kid experiencing realistic emotions and being treated with respect by the adults. Sounds thrilling, doesn’t it?

Oh, it sounds boring? It is.

(Which may be fine for TV, but not a book I have to read several times a week.) And while they involved psychologists, they seem to have forgotten about, oh, say, writers. The books sound like high school students watched the shows and wrote clunky summaries of what they saw. It’s painful.

Don’t tell me that realistic stories about real kids facing real problems can’t also be well-written and fun. Sally Jean the Bicycle Queen proves that dead wrong.

But hey, kids like insipid stuff sometimes. But then there’s the message: apparently I fall in a rare middle ground between love it and hate it factions. I can see the usefulness in some of the stories and the way they model dealing with difficult emotions: Acknowledging that Caillou is sad that he can’t fit into his favourite T-shirt any more and putting it on his teddy bear instead is decent problem solving, and I like the model of the mum being willing to apologise for having given the shirt to his younger sister without checking with him. Ditto on the first sleepover book—he’s sad and nervous, but after a call to his mom, who reminds him he brought his teddy bear, he gets over it.

On the other hand, much as I shudder to associate too closely with the no-empathy, “spare the rod, spoil the child,” “what’s all this touchy-feely crap, he should obey” Caillou detractors, there are cases where I share their discomfort (if not their preferred remedies). In one case, Caillou is asked to watch his younger sister at the supermarket and instead he wanders off without asking to look for cookies—and he’s never once told “You shouldn’t have done that.” Never. Sure, don’t scream at a frightened kid who just got himself lost, but come on now? No pointing out the problem at all, even later?

Ditto for the time he paints a clown face on his younger sister’s doll. It’s like they have a saboteur on the production team who wants to destroy the good name of empathic, non-punitive parenting by showing that yes, it really is about never saying no.

Similarly, after a book all about how Caillou’s toys are strewn all over the house, his parents suggest that he has an awful lot of toys, including some he never plays with. Maybe he could give some away?

His response: No. I like all my toys.

Their response: Oh, OK, we’ll build you a big toy box instead.

WTF?

Is his response realistic? Yes. Do either his or his parents’ responses model anything useful for the kids reading this? No. In fact, they are awfully counter-productive. I’m inclined to agree with Alison Wonderland when she opines that perhaps parents, as well as writers, were left off the Caillou consulting team.

The fact that he’s so damn popular anyway means there’s a niche screaming to be filled.

Jamie Czerniawski, a U.S  mother of two who appeared on the reality show “Wife Swap” has been accused of stabbing her husband Charles. In the show Jamie temporarily swapped places with Anna Kinison, a tattooed freak show performer.  In related news, Charles is desperately seeking Anna’s husband to negotiate a swap-back.

Although Jamie, a former Miss Teen New Jersey, claims the stabbing was in self-defense her husband’s lawyer denies it. According to court papers she used a kitchen knife to slash her husband in their Freehold home on Memorial Day weekend.

It’s not clear whether the Czerniawski’s daughter, Alex, 11 and son Mikey, 9, were home at the time of the alleged attack but either way this has to be traumatic for them.  That is, in addition to the trauma they endured when their parents decided to disrupt their lives by agreeing to appear in “Wife Swap” in the first place.

Source | Source

The petite primate is treated not unlike a princess… has her own bedroom, sits at the dinner table for meals and has oodles of outfits. In the clip available of the film, Jessica is shown in a frilly pink dress getting lipstick in a bright shade of red applied to her lips while ‘Mom’ utters in baby speak, “now you look so purdy!” ‘Mom’ said, when commenting on being a ‘parent’ to a ‘monkid’, that “she was going to be a baby I was going to have forever.”

Lori already had two human daughters – who are both grown adults- but apparently she yearned for some sort of arrested development in an offspring. She opted to harness all her motherly instincts in raising a monkey that has a lifespan of forty years. Would you want to raise an “eternal toddler” for that long? Can a monkey, or any other animal, be a ‘child substitute’?

Check out a clip of the show here.